Now I know that I mainly run a book blog but this is something I feel incredibly strong about. Today, I was offered work as long as I 'behaved myself this time'. This sounds like a strange request to anyone reading this, but to me this made my blood boil. I was not aware that having a mental illness was something that could be described as 'misbehaviour'. Anyway. To summarize where this came from, two years ago I did this very same job but was unable to cope with it and unable to complete the task as I suffered from extreme panic attacks and anxiety. They were extreme enough that my boyfriend sent me to the doctors and now two years later I am back to my happy, bubbly self. Those two years of my life were an absolute nightmare. I struggled massively to gain control of myself, it got to the point that I was unable to stay in the supermarkets, unable to really do anything or go anywhere. My lectures were put on hold with my wonderful lecturers emailing what was needed to me and I was given counselling and some tablets. Thank god. I don't know what state I'd be in if my boyfriend hadn't sat with me in that waiting room, kept me there until my appointment and got me sorted out.
Don't take this post the wrong way, I am in no way looking for sympathy. It is something I absolutely detest - feeling or being treated as fragile or an invalid. I am so much stronger because of this, and happier. I can deal with anything that comes at me now. I know what they are, what they feel like and how to control them. It's great! Understanding for what they are and the effects? Yes, fine. Patience to deal with it? That is great, but sympathy can keep on jogging thank you very much.
