'Reading a book is like re-writing it for yourself. You bring to a novel, anything you read, all your experience of the world. You bring your history and you read it in your own terms.'- Angela Carter

Monday, 9 July 2012

Review: Fifty Shades of... Wtf?

Fifty Shades of Grey – E. L. James


When literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, she tries to put Grey out of her mind - until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time. 

The unworldly, innocent Ana is shocked to realize she wants this man, and when he warns her to keep her distance it only makes her more desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her - but on his own terms. 

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey's singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success – his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving adoptive family – Grey is man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a passionate, physical and daring affair, Ana learns more about her own dark desires, as well as the Christian Grey hidden away from public scrutiny.

Can their relationship transcend physical passion? Will Ana find it in herself to submit to the self-indulgent Master? And if she does, will she still love what she finds?

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

My Review: 2/5*

Right, I gave in. I promised myself I wouldn’t but was reluctant to be one of those people who refuse to read something just because it’s ‘big’ at the moment. My best mate had a massive influence on me finally giving in as she chatted to me about the ridiculousness of the book over dinner. I thought right; I have to read this thing. Let’s see what all the fuss is about. To be honest, I am still completely lost as to what exactly the fuss is about! As the novel begins we are introduced to our protagonist: Anastasia and all her stereotypical insecurities and clumsiness. The whole plot line honestly reminded me of an X-rated, non-supernatural Twilight with one key difference – I liked Twilight. This book holds the same so-called captivating male figure who dominates – literally – the female figure, she is sucked in and falls in love with him but alas it cannot be because he can only ‘fuck’ her not ‘make love’ to her. It absolutely baffles me that it takes right up until the end of the novel and for him to have to physically hurt her with a belt for her to realise the full on instability of this man. Hello! The man has a ‘red room of pain’, stalks you everywhere, follows you abroad even AND appears to have more faces than the town clock! It takes a full on beating for you to wake up and realise he’s an actual messed up douche?! COME ON! 

Yeah, yeah, love is blind, blah blah blah but MY GOD, or should I say; ‘oh my’. This book irritated me beyond belief! It was basically impossible to go more than a page or two before the words ‘oh my’, ‘inner goddess’, and ‘flush’ appeared. Honestly, at least use a thesaurus to liven it up a bit! If I took out the horribly uncomfortable and totally unnecessary sex scenes of the book, the character of Christian Grey is actually quite intriguing. I did find that I was eager to find out what on earth happened to him in his past to feel the need to ‘punish’ women in such a way. The only thing given to us is that he had a crack-whore mum. As embarrassed as I am to say it, I will probably read the next book in the trilogy as it’s supposed to reveal what actually happened to him. My main issue honestly is all the awkward sex scenes! Just go away! I mean I read J R Ward; I’m no newbie to sex in books but for goodness sake! How on EARTH are we meant to believe for a start that Ana is a supposed virgin? The only character who seems to have her head screwed on at least half right is Kate, and that’s before she goes all woozy over Grey’s brother. Infuriating.

Ana manages to redeem herself by the end of the novel – sort of. She FINALLY realises enough is enough and has enough courage to up and leave this guy. At least it shows she has some sort of freedom. WHY would you willingly give up your freedom? I understand it’s part of some sort of ‘contract’ that they have but what the effff! I personally would go skits if someone threatened to hit me across the arse for rolling my eyes at them, Jeeeeesus. As you can tell, this book REALLY wound me up. I hope to God that if I read the next one, it isn’t going to be quite as much of a car crash as what this was.


  1. yeah, I agree with you, this book is just a heartcrusher :D te worst book I have read so far (coldn't even finish it lol)

  2. I told myself I wouldn't read this either, but if I can find it for free I might. Your review only confirms what others have said this book is ridiculous, I don't understand why people think it's so amazing.

  3. Thanks for the review.I was planning to read this book but now i won't.


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